In my mind: Loving myself while I'm still here

I have recently become more aware that the love and energy that I consistently provide for others isn't the same amount of what I should be recieving back. Why is that? Well, being the tender age of 24 has shown me that all my time in this world is limited despite the goals, dreams, and ambitions that I want to conquer. Look at the recent death of Toyin Salau-doing one of the things that she cared about most-activism for women like me. She put out so much love into the world just for her life to tragically end, and at what cost? We as black women put so much of our love into the world and into other people and we get the short end of the stick. I ask again, why? It's truly sad.

There’s something so special to me about seeing young black girls filled with joy, loving themselves, being confident and doing the things that they love. Maybe it’s because I remember the years when I was young, black, and carefree. The years when I didn’t have to think about the implications of race, police brutality, the kidnapping and murder of black women, etc. Reality has hit me hard in the last couple of months especially in the social climate that we are in and it's soul-consuming, mind numbing and made me realize that if society can't love and celebrate me and black women in general the way they should then my energy needs to be in more self-love. At the age of 24 I should be worried about my next money move, my next date, my next outing with my girls, when my next hair appointmet is but instead I sometimes sit in my room late at night praying for all the young black girls who loved themselves but the world and society tragically didn't.