For all living with chronic situations, always know there are better days ahead of us. That’s what I try to tell myself at times. I don’t believe sometimes, but when I do, it makes my day go by. I’m always told not to give it and don’t give in. I always question myself, I keep fighting to get up hoping for better days. Being frustrated doesn’t help, being bitter doesn’t help, being angry doesn’t help either. All it does is waste your time. You have to have determination, dedication and be your own self-advocate along with having CONFIDENCE. Well, sometimes I don’t feel like I have enough confidence while living with an ileostomy or my disability. During the two or more years that I had suffered from IBS, I longed for someone to tell me that it will be okay. I don’t know anyone who suffers from the same thing. I have no one to talk about that knows the feeling that I am always having. You can vent your feelings, but no one would know how you are feeling. You will hear, I understand how you feel. I get it. NO THEY DON’T GET IT. Nobody seemed to have what I have. You have no one to talk to. You get depressed, you are still angry and bitter. Sometimes it’s hard to smile. But it’s ok for that not happen. I try to allow myself some happiness no matter how hard it may be. The past three years have been difficult to manage especially since the surgeries. I come to grips that it is okay not to be okay. I need to have more okays than not. I usually escape at times into my music. It keeps me calm about my feelings. Nothing lasts forever, so I hope my pain doesn’t either.
Co-exiting with an ileostomy is harder than I ever anticipated. It takes a lot of care to ensure the stoma and bag remain healthy and stable. It has been extremely hard to accept that this is part of who I am. Will all the health setbacks that I have had I’ve discovered that it takes an emotional impact on your emotional and physical state. There are times that I regret getting the ileostomy but I know it was the healthiest choice for me to live a long and happy life.